An Extreme Tale
Daily Prompt: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” — Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities
When was the last time that sentence accurately described your life?
Actually this very moment is described by that phrase exactly. Both my mother and mother-in-law are in facilities. Both have dementia. Both are surrounded by family and money issues in different ways. I love both women but am powerless to help them from a personal care point of view. I am Power of Attorney for my mother which means tracking down all of the paperwork and bills and keeping her money and tax issues going smoothly. My brother finally is pulling her feeding tube tomorrow.
As a defense mechanism to the stress and anxiety this has caused me, which inflames all of my issues — stomach, sleep, hot flashes, back pain, I’ve started yoga and meditating twice a day and doing a daily walk/jog. My doctor prescribed ativan, and for the first time, I can smoke the prescription pot that’s been sitting around my house, because the ativan takes the edge off of it. So the ativan brings my stress level down and the pot gets me up and out and taking pictures and generally communing with the outdoors and my dog which has nourished my soul tremendously.
So here I am, afraid to tell anyone in my family how happy I am with my daily routine because I’m supposed to be miserable: Daily Prompt and business to do in the morning, and the rest of the day full of photography, nature, dog, yoga, and meditation. In the past 10 years I haven’t been this happy. I wonder if I have ever been this happy. I love my husband and dog, I love my house, and I love the neighbors and the miles and miles of hiking trails all around me. I love the peace and solitude of this haven I live in.
Having dying mothers is about the most stressful thing that’s ever happened to me. No so much on the mother’s side, but because of the stress it puts on the entire family. Most families are inept at handling stress well. My own family in particular is full of sharpened knives poised to attack someone at any particular instant.
I heard or read somewhere that it’s through hardship that we become better people. If that’s the case I have the formula to become a very good person. Someday. :p